Jimmy could not have been more pleased when his girlfriend’s parents announced they were all going to the Rams game. Tickets on the 50 yard line were provided by the owners of the Rams who were chummy with these Beverly Hills neighbors.
The game was action packed and they dined on hot peanuts and cheered as the Rams fought yardage at every play. Jimmy was ecstatic to be with his Natalie Wood lookalike girl and her movie industry folks watching the great Crazylegs weave through the defense with legs that went six seperate directions while huge men grasped at thin air trying to gain purchase of him and bring him down. His evasive tactics years ago in college had given him the “Crazylegs” moniker and he was an unstoppable giant spider on the field who could only be caught if 5 or six players created a web that he could not outstep.
In the 4th quarter the game was tied and the Rams were taken down at the end of the field and had 90 yards to go for a touchdown that could win. The clock was running out and the excitement was palpable when his girlfriend’s mother disturbed Jimmy’s feverish concentration with a request. “Jimmy ─ run down under the stadium and bring me back a hot dog ─ lots of mustard and relish ─ would you, Dear?” He could not believe what this Maven was saying ─ after all the next play could be the save of the day and he tried to ignore her request. She scowled at him and looked at him like Queen Victoria as if only his accomplishing the task she had set would redeem him.
He rushed to the cement halls down below in the tunnels where even the restrooms were empty as fans with full bladders were riveted to their seats for the next play. He could hear the tinny metal cone speakers blurting the sportscaster’s comments and speculations on what might happen. Jimmy ran for the hotdog area and the old Italian behind the counter pulled one out of the steamer as Jimmy expressed the condiments required. With the hotdog in his hand burning it through the waxpaper, he trotted and then ran down the booming cement hall ─ his leather boots with catspaws on the heels clicking like a tapdancer and from the speakers came the play. “The quarterback has handed the ball off to Crazylegs and look at him go folks ─ he is at the 50 ─ the 30 ─ the 20 ─ My lord the entire defense is trying to grab a leg but Crazylegs is all over the field!!!! ─ slippin and sliding ─ dancing and jumping over the tackles!!! Look at him!!!!!”
But Jimmy was huffing and puffing with lungs begging for air, trying to reach the entrance of the stands that would allow him to see the action. He could hear the crowd cheering and imagine the faces full of heartstopping joy. The fans were on their feet as he made his way back to the box and thrust the hotdog dripping relish all over his trousers at the insistant Queen. On the field the players were carrying Crazylegs from the end zone. His helmet was off and he was waving to the fans, having just run the greatest play in Rams history and winning the game.
Jimmy had missed the entire play and he seethed next to his girlfriend while her Mother nibbled on the hotdog ─ oblivious to his rage. No matter how many years passed, he would always hold a grudge. Some things in this life can never be forgiven.
Short story by Rob Kunkel
