Oh god, it hurts. Everything hurts so excruciatingly bad. The last thing I remember is . . . Wait, what do I . . .
“Good Morning, Sheila.”
I looked over at a homely woman dressed in a white hospital uniform. “Where am I?” My voice cracked, shaky and hoarse.
She smiled but her smile was a mask. My mother had been a nurse and I knew that mask well. It was used to hide things. The woman was figuring out how to answer my question.
I knew I was in a small white room. It reeked of sanitizer and bleach, definitely a hospital room. I was in bed, hooked up to an array of machines, humming silently. Why was I here?
“Oh God! What happened to me? Please tell me!” My panic rose and my chest grew tight. I struggled for breath and searched her face for an answer. It was blank.
“Sheila . . .” She called my name like a mother calming her child.
“Why am I here? What happened to me?” My voice grew frantic. I tried to rise but I was restrained. My arms were tied to the bed. I could not touch my face or reach out.
I glared at the woman in anger. What the hell was going on? When I tried to speak again, the pain returned, mostly on my face. I must have winced because she walked towards me.
Suddenly, the pain subsided. I turned to see her tweaking one of the machines. Whether she was killing my pain or calming me for information she was about to dish, I wasn’t sure.
“You are in the ICU burn ward of St. Mary’s hospital.” She paused to make a final adjustment. “You had a horrible accident. Thirty percent of your body was burned. The reason for the pain around your eyes and mouth is because we had to replace them. Any questions?”
Ha! Any questions? she asked. Of course I had questions. What about my eyes and my mouth? “Woah, woah, woah, did you say replaced?” My pulse began to race and the monitors started to sing.
“Calm down, Sheila. If you panic, you’ll only make it worse.” Her voice sounded concerned.
That worried me. “Ha, don’t panic? Calm down?” I gasped. “My entire body is burned and you replaced my eyes and mouth. Can you hospital junkies actually do that?”
“Sheila . . .” Her face was no longer blank but appeared to be honest and sympathetic. I hated it. I knew she’d say something like: Everything is going to be all right, just calm down.
I needed to know what happened. I couldn’t remember anything! She mentioned short term memory loss, but how lost? Gone forever lost or just temporarily unavailable?
My anger suddenly welled up into a swirling hurricane of rage. “Look, lady, I know you’re trying to help, but telling me to calm down is plain ridiculous. I want answers now, or I’ll do something drastic that both of us could regret. Comprende?”
I only planned on screaming bloody murder, not causing a ruckus. I just wanted some answers. If she wasn’t going give them, I would find someone who would.
Movement out of the corner of my eye startled me. Was she leaving? Hell no, she’s not leaving me here!
“Hey . . .” My voice wavered as she quickly re-entered the room.
This time her face was flushed and angry. I must have pissed her off. Damn it Sheila! You should know better than to anger the person taking care of you.
She walked towards me with a menacing stride, like a cat stalking its prey. Something had changed, as if she knew something I didn’t.
“Okay . . . look . . .” I stammered. “We got off on the wrong foot . . .”
She came closer, her face a sinister smile. I noticed what was different. She was hiding something behind her back!
“Hey, what the . . .” Slam!
It was a needle, right into the big vein in my neck. Everything changed into a hazy fog. I struggled to keep my eyes open, to stay alert and fight on, but my mind was slipping into the unknowing abyss.
Where was I?
Short story by Kelly Cofrin
