The regents were at their wit’s end. Professor Willard Flunk was refusing to play ball. He was flunking too many of his students.
Lectures and admonitions were to no avail. There was no one else in his specialty. In desperation, they gave him his tenure in the hope he’d see the light.
It didn’t work. Flunk kept on flunking his students.
Parents were outraged. How could they shell out all this tuition for junior to get a failing grade? A college diploma was a de rigueur stepping stone for success in the job market, they huffed.
It wasn’t that Flunk was arbitrary. He always flunked for good reason. If a student plagiarized a paper or skipped class, he was flunked. The Professor did bestow gentlemen’s “C’s” and even a couple “A’s.” It was just that he flunked with abandon, sometimes half the class.
The regents were beside themselves. Parents were threatening to pull their kids out, or, even worse, suspend contributions to the alumni fund. They finally resolved to ship the Professor on a year long sabbatical to Borneo.
Things were fine until the natives grew tired of Flunk’s pontificating. After he flunked several villagers, for what we’ll never know, they strapped him to a sturdy canoe and shipped him right back.
Immediately upon his return to the university, he started flunking his students. He even re-flunked some who had previously been flunked.
By now the regents were convinced that Flunk had mental illness. They sent him to a shrink, figuring shock therapy and psyco-meds would do the trick. That plan backfired when Flunk flunked the psychiatrist.
