Sometimes I think America would be better off if we had a royalty. It’s funny how we always hear that Americans don’t believe in titles or nobility. That we believe in the gospel of the up-by-the-bootstraps initiative of the individual.
Bullshit! Look at this cult of celebrity and personality. Public going goo-goo-eyed at the OJ Simpson trial and Tiger Woods affair. Who’s the father of Anna Nicole Smith’s baby? Did Bill Clinton inhale?
Imagine Monica’s blue dress on exhibit at the Smithsonian Institution. The lines would stretch around the block. All breathless in anticipation in spotting the “evidence” on that dress.
So, I say, what the hey? Let’s have a royalty. Hell, the Clintons, Kennedys, and Bushes are essentially royalty anyway. To say nothing of the Morgans, Roosevelts, and Rockefellers.
Yup, let the masses go fruitcake over the royalty. All their soap operas, sex scandals and drama trauma. Who’s having whose baby or which wayward son is in drug rehab or who got caught soliciting in a public restroom.
Of course, all this pomp and extravaganza will cost a lot of moola. What with the limousines, red carpets, and black tie events. Ticket sales at the Smithsonian may help defray expenses, but those talking heads on television cost a fortune.
We’ll also have to hire extras as adoring crowds. Politicians and royal types live for their adoring crowds. They desperately need people to suck up to them. So yeah, gotta budget for that.
And let’s not forget the foreign policy thing. Every once in a while we’ll have to “bomb” a village somewhere just to show we’re tough. We’ll need a bevy of extras to make up as corpses and a smaller group to play grieving family members.
Media will never know the difference. Hell, they’re just reporting a dog and pony show anyway. Ever notice how the commentators “brighten up” whenever they ramble on about a celebrity sex scandal? They’re just doing what they’re good at. Television is great for gossip and titillation, but sucks at serious news.
For sure, we’d be better off with a royalty. Let the elites keep the plebes entertained with bread and circuses. Politicians will be delighted to smile for the camera and pander for votes. No need to bother with all that annoying policy stuff.
The rest of us will get our news off the internet, make the transition to sound money, and carefully choose our representation. We have neither the time nor the inclination to suck up to the elites. Hell, we’ll be too busy getting on with the serious business of governance.
