The classrooms are overcrowded, overflowing with puss. Teachers drone on while students pass out, heads nodding over desks. There is quickie sex in the grunting corridors.

The streets are cluttered with human debris. A corner stall has a clean needle distribution program. Buskers on sidewalks sing stories of bag ladies and broken dreams.

A man in rags spews torrents of vomit into a dented trash can. People rush past, clutching welfare checks and food stamps. The homeless shelter nearby is packed to the brim.

Hulking young men beg coins from business suits. Store clerks keep out the eagle eye on customers. A dead cat hangs by its tail from an awning.

A little girl sells apples from a cart and disappears into dark alleyways with strange men. A brave soul mounts a soapbox and is quickly brought down by a hail of stones.

Welcome to Stench City 2011. It could be your town. All you have to do is get out and look around.

Happy New Year.

Collapse of Soviet Union, yes. Final triumph, err . . . not quite . . .

And how about that “They hate us for our freedoms” and “Things are different in a 9/11 world” brouhaha? A litany of scare-monger slogans to herald the new millennium, tossed in amidst a confused muddle of the War on Terror, the War on Drugs, and the War on Whatever.

Some say the world is coming to an end.

Hey, not so fast. True, the end of year 2010 is drawing apace. But it’s not the end of history or even the world. Not even close.

Perhaps a survey of the three major types of history might shed some enlightenment, and even some encouragement.

Triumphant History
- Victors are right. Victors are also write. They write the history. And the history they write is always triumphant.
- Columbus discovered America. Woodrow Wilson made the world safe for democracy. FDR rescued the economy.
- The paint by numbers version offered up in American middle school textbooks is an all too pathetic example.

Victim History
- History from the viewpoint of the poor, the defeated, and the disadvantaged, often resurrected from the trash bins.
- Howard Zinn’s A People’s History of the United States comes to mind.
- Also Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee by Dee Brown and The Conquest of Paradise by Kirkpatrick Sale. Along with numerous other accounts of looting, atrocities, and genocide.

Objective History or History As Is.
- Often referred to as Revisionist History.
- Why American History Is Not What They Say by Jeff Riggenbach is an excellent work.
- Also such “follow the money” accounts as The Creature from Jekyll Island by G. Edward Griffin and Murray Rothbard’s A History of Money and Banking in the United States.
- Although there is probably no such thing as a totally objective history since everything is related from a particular point of view, much of the revisionist history published in the latter twentieth century makes an honest effort to debunk various myths and fairy tales spoon-fed to the public.

Hey there! Seeing as we’re striding into this Information Age, why not make use of that Revisionist History or History As Is or whatever you want to call it? Anyone can get carried away from time to time, but there’s no need to get caught up in all the hoopla and hysteria pendulum sways of public opinion.

A little learning from History As Is and get on with it. It’s the end of the year not the end of the world.

Life goes on despite the Mayan calendar.

The earliest Verban pioneers would simply ray-gun the earthlings and devour them on the spot. But humans were learning to steer clear from the carnivores from outer space. With the home folk clamoring for better beef, a better way had to be found.

The Verbans decided that if you can’t eat ‘em, join ‘em. So they made peace and invited a few intrepid earthlings to participate in a “cultural exchange program.” It was all a ruse. The humans were locked away in indoctrination cells and imprinted with Verban programming.

Humans returning from Verba were feted as celebrities and mingled easily with their fellows. After all, there was fellowship in mutual DNA. No one was the wiser that these space-traveling hot-shots were actually mindless automatons. All too willing to lead their adoring fans straight to the meat grinder.

Dead flesh made quick a passage through the space/time continuum. Most were ground into meat patties while intact cadavers were flash frozen for those all too succulent ribs.

Rumor has it that humans have been deep-fried for fast-food McVerba chains catering to the hoi-polloi. Oh perish that rumor!

Human flesh has indeed become the succulent creme-de-la-creme of the ultimate rump roast at the royal Verban table. Gadstones of the Verban palate tear bloody chucks of human flesh off the bone in Caligulan ecstasies of orgy.

They were only five inches tall. Literally. Just tiny little nippers in top hats and frock coats. They looked human in appearance but no one could really tell. At least they did have two arms and two legs.

And they were right there on the floor. Saying things like: “You don’t have to live in perpetual conflict” or “Would you like to discover the cure for cancer?” or some such other cute little aphorism or verbal mucky-muck in their pipsqueak voices.

The humans would put up with them for awhile. There’d be some nervous laughter and joking with the Little Person. But after a time, sure enough, a big old foot would come down. Scrunch!

And the Little Person was no more. Just a gooey puddle on the floor no bigger than a dog turd.

It was usually the alpha male who’d step forward for the scrunch. The tough guy, the big lug, the big asshole. But not always. Sometimes a scrawny nerd would be goaded into the deed. With the whole group around him, egging him on.

No matter to the Little Person. Big foot always the same, whether size 16 or 6. Little shrimp enshrouded in a momentary shadow, then the big old shoe leather came crashing down. Always the sciir-ruunch of shattered bones followed by the scoow-weesh of goopy mass pressed into the wooden floor or pavement.

The transmission which reached planet Earth was undetectable and indecipherable by humanoid technologies. But a rough translation would have run something like: “No need to bother with these butt-wads. They’re beyond help. Proceed to your next assignment.”

The spacecraft lifted from the planet with re-constituted souls on board. Once it cleared the Earth’s atmosphere, it accelerated to many times the speed of light on its way to the Andromeda galaxy.

Bullshit! Look at this cult of celebrity and personality. Public going goo-goo-eyed at the OJ Simpson trial and Tiger Woods affair. Who’s the father of Anna Nicole Smith’s baby? Did Bill Clinton inhale?

Imagine Monica’s blue dress on exhibit at the Smithsonian Institution. The lines would stretch around the block. All breathless in anticipation in spotting the “evidence” on that dress.

So, I say, what the hey? Let’s have a royalty. Hell, the Clintons, Kennedys, and Bushes are essentially royalty anyway. To say nothing of the Morgans, Roosevelts, and Rockefellers.

Yup, let the masses go fruitcake over the royalty. All their soap operas, sex scandals and drama trauma. Who’s having whose baby or which wayward son is in drug rehab or who got caught soliciting in a public restroom.

Of course, all this pomp and extravaganza will cost a lot of moola. What with the limousines, red carpets, and black tie events. Ticket sales at the Smithsonian may help defray expenses, but those talking heads on television cost a fortune.

We’ll also have to hire extras as adoring crowds. Politicians and royal types live for their adoring crowds. They desperately need people to suck up to them. So yeah, gotta budget for that.

And let’s not forget the foreign policy thing. Every once in a while we’ll have to “bomb” a village somewhere just to show we’re tough. We’ll need a bevy of extras to make up as corpses and a smaller group to play grieving family members.

Media will never know the difference. Hell, they’re just reporting a dog and pony show anyway. Ever notice how the commentators “brighten up” whenever they ramble on about a celebrity sex scandal? They’re just doing what they’re good at. Television is great for gossip and titillation, but sucks at serious news.

For sure, we’d be better off with a royalty. Let the elites keep the plebes entertained with bread and circuses. Politicians will be delighted to smile for the camera and pander for votes. No need to bother with all that annoying policy stuff.

The rest of us will get our news off the internet, make the transition to sound money, and carefully choose our representation. We have neither the time nor the inclination to suck up to the elites. Hell, we’ll be too busy getting on with the serious business of governance.

Information Age, babe. Mass quantities coming at you.

Information on tap like never before. People want it and they want it now. No frills, no bullshit. No fancy ads or doo-dads.

Eye-balls engulfed in tidal waves of terabytes. The vast bulk can be had for free. Cheap and easy it may seem but there’s more than meets the eye.

Ah, the lowly search engine. It sifts through every nook and cranny of the world-web to generate a list of results. The information provided must be timely and relevant. Otherwise the consumer skips over to another source.

The concept of the “sourcing” of information was unheard of fifteen years ago. The public was content to be spoon-fed with a steady diet of filtered media and soggy textbooks. They had become all too trusting and dependent upon the power elite status quo.

Today the questions flow fast and furious. Where is the information coming from? Which individual or organization? What is their track record under scrutiny? Who’s signing their paychecks?

What’s the deal on these Federal Reserve Notes anyway?

Follow the money. Learn the history. Read the Constitution.

Anyone with a camera and a weblog can be a reporter. The idea of a “citizens media” is not so laughable. Look at You Tube. Anyone with moxie and editing skills can create a news program.

Turns out there’s lots of competition for those eyeballs.

Competition is good. It lowers barriers to entry, brings in more players and breaks up monopolies. Competition leads to quality.

The Information Age may appear, at first glance, to be all about quantity. Certainly, there are scads galore of graphics, glitter and glam on offer.

People do not have unlimited time or resources, however. A search for information strongly implies a certain quality in a certain time. No one is content to be the passive recipient of a one-way data flow.

Ultimately, the Information Age is about quality, not quantity.

Our economic future is uncertain. Out-sourcing and foreign competition has left average Americans grasping for minimum wage. Many with advanced degrees are flipping burgers. The real rate of unemployment is fast approaching 22%.

Our foreign policy is a mess. Attempts at promoting democracy always seem to backfire. Appeals to hearts and minds go unheeded while the use of air strikes leads to collateral damage and displaced populations.

There was a time when America stood as the land of opportunity and provided jobs for all comers. That time is past.

Today, those jobs are overseas. In war-torn regions throughout the globe, there is a huge demand for translators, teachers, public relations, sanitation, security and field hands. Fortunately, we have found the way to promote democracy while providing jobs for Americans: The Citizens of the World program.

The Citizens of the World program is specifically designed to maximize human potential. Once the initial induction process is complete, participants will be evaluated via a battery of questionnaires, psych-exams, and IQ tests, then given the appropriate training. Proper attitudes and physical stamina will be developed during month-long internment seminars.

Special consideration will be granted to those denied entry to the domestic workplace. Hence, welfare recipients, drug addicts, the handicapped, the homeless, the destitute and the mentally ill will be amongst the first inducted. Happy meals and work skills will be provided for all, even young people cast adrift in a changing world.

The Citizens of the World program will enable proud Americans to serve as ambassadors while maintaining production of natural resources crucial to our nation’s economy.

“We’ve shot an amazing number of people,” McChrystal conceded recently. He described Obama as being “disengaged” from the war effort while an aide jokingly referred to vice-president Joe Biden as “Bite-me.”

Pundits were quick to pounce. It’s not kosher to criticize leadership openly, they wagged. The general is out-of-line. He needs to go.

The president put his foot down squarely in a stamp of resolution. He means business. Afghanistan may prove too much to lose. What with the natural gas pipelines, the mineral wealth, the propping of Karzai, national prestige, acting tough, stalwart politician, etc.

It’s all in the Great Game. But Afghans don’t give up easily. Both Brits and Russians have tried and failed.

The lack of boots on the ground makes basic security a constant headache. Many areas cleared of insurgents turn hostile once troops are gone. Solutions are not forthcoming.

A firmer commitment will lead to an escalation. Battlefield loses and flag-draped coffins are not a winning strategy. Ensuring that cleared areas remain secure is best done through the use of airstrikes. Collateral damage, the deaths of women and children, is a given.

Big Blam in Afghanistan could well be on the horizon.

Many say McChrystal shot himself in the foot by sounding off in a leftist publication. Perhaps he saw something he wanted no part of.

- Senator Karl Mundt (R-S.D.)
(Cong. Rec. Senate, July 9, 1965, 16121-22)

Most were not as modest as Senator Mundt (R-S.D.) about Congress’s “Olympian wisdom” enabling members to “pontificate for all of society” in passing Medicare. After the tying and misrepresentation that made possible its enactment, the 1965 Medicare law created built-in transaction-cost-increasing mechanisms that assured the program’s growth. The insurance imagery, payroll taxes, and incentives of current recipients to foist off costs on future generations all worked to increase the transaction costs of taking political action to “unscramble the omelet.” Once Medicare became part of the U.S. institutional structure, an entitlement mentality, ideological change, and baser political and economic interests combined to assure its entrenchment – regardless of costs or consequences.

- American Health Care, pg. 114
Edited by Roger D. Feldman

Consumers of the future will s­urely demand more reliable standards in the labeling of food products. Especially when it comes to their all-time favorite All-American staple: The Hamburger.

Beef Burger
- The butcher-cut, big-beef parts of the animal. Steaks, sirloins, rib-eyes, and flanks.

Grease Burger
- The greasy, semi-liquid parts of the animal. Fatty plasmas, membranes, lymph nodes, and blood residues.

Gut Burger
- The major interior parts of the animal. Organs, entrails, intestines, and assorted excrements.

Animal Burger
- The full-on entirety parts of the animal. Horns, hooves, skulls, and hides.

Soylent Burger
- Just as it sounds. We’re talking the future here. Teeming masses, food riots, water shortages . . .